I’ve started to try to find another job.
I know, it’ll be a long and hard way just like when it was while I was a student.
I don’t have anything to show off, neither a degree in CS, a working experience as data analyst or engineer nor an amazing background in machine learning or deep learning. I’m just a guy who is attracted by the field, it matters to no one but myself.
But I still want it. I’m spending most of my own time studying the materials, I can do most things that a decent data scientist can do. I’m spending 30 hours a week on Kaggle trying to win a freaking medal so that these companies would lay their eyes on me, it’s almost pathetically painful to watch from a TPV.
Sometimes, just sometime, I would think that maybe these are not worth it in the end. If I had spent these much time on anything else, I’d be getting something. I’d be in better shape for crying out loud. But those things simply doesn’t satisfy me. It’s like trying to feel loved by binging of fried chicken and sodas, you’d feel good right after you did it, but in the long term you’d hate yourself.
Being a consultant isn’t even half bad, I’m happy in current situation, they’re paying me enough so I can live decently, I can work remotely from home, I would even have enough money left that I can put some in funds. Most importantly, I can meet all these people who is by day, executives, from companies that would be rejecting me now if I applied. I can learn so much from them.
It’s time like this that I have to stay strong. I have to remember that we only live once and the only life worth living is the one I’m proud of. I want this, and I think, if I work hard enough and gain enough experience, I’d be getting it someday. Just someday, the hope itself should be sufficient to support me on this road.
Live as if it’s impossible to fail. Casey Neistat